Broken Mirrors Still Reflect

Now I understand why your refusal was so noble.

Now I understand, with clarity, all the tenderness and caution of those sunlit afternoons.

Now I fully understand that the world is a mirror.

Now I understand why it may have been painful for you to see me move on so quickly.

Now I understand that affection and love create responsibilities, even when there is no relationship.

Now I understand that love is not something we can simply give to someone.

It is how we live our choices, consciously or not.

Now I understand the weight of someone deciding, all by themselves, that a story is over.

Now I understand what you meant when you said that I was hurting you so much.

Now I understand.

Because those words have been mine, too.

Now I understand that the universe has its own way of teaching us.

Now I understand that suffering is made of the masks we choose to protect ourselves from unpleasant truths.

Now I understand that giving the universe disregard, confusion, and a stained name for love is to wield a double-edged sword,

and eventually, it cuts you.

Now I understand that those seeds bore fruit,

which I harvested, fermented, and drank myself into a stupor.

Now I understand that the more I searched in every direction,

the answer had always been there.

Right in front of me.

Now I understand that my spirit was trying to show me how the night comes to an end.

Now I understand.

And, ironically,

you were the one I needed to understand

before I could understand myself.

Now I understand that I don't need to know how to feel.

No one really does.

And perhaps I have found a way to move forward,

without having to run.

Or punish myself.

Now I understand that the human heart is beautiful because it is as fragile as crystal,

and whoever is fortunate enough to earn the trust of a heart

should guard it with their whole being.

Now I understand things I was not emotionally old enough to understand.

Now I understand that...

Perhaps this is my redemption.